Introduction Post

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Yo! My name's Em and this is my attempt at running a blog. Well, technically I have a Tumblr, but that's not really for posting original content.

Anyways, despite writing an introduction post, there's not much to say about me. My life is nothing special and I've listed off my interests so many times, it just seems tedious now. Honestly, it's hard to write anything when I know I'll just rewrite it or delete it later. 

I'm slightly reassured in knowing that probably no one will read this (unless I share it with my other social media; does anyone even use Blogger?) And now you, theoretical reader, are probably wondering why I would want to make a blog if I'm afraid of people reading it.

The short answer is that I want to want people to see my blog. Since I'm going to be publishing a webcomic, I have to be willing to actually post pages, talk about them, and engage with anyone who has questions or comments. So, in a sense, running a blog is a way for me to practice for that.

The long answer is that the person I imagine myself to be is completely different from the person I am...and I want to change that. Despite all the issues I had as a child and the internalized ableism that developed as a result, I really envy younger me. When I was thirteen, all I wanted to do was share my art online and give feedback to others. I loved sharing stories about my day and posting my opinions, hoping people would comment on them and offer their own thoughts too. I still roleplayed and chatted with people and, in general, I was quite happy.

But somehow, for whatever reason, all of that has changed. And sure, I can pinpoint certain incidents that may have influenced me. I remember very clearly the reaction I had when one of my watchers on deviantART told me to "get a Twitter" if I wanted to spam people with journal entries. And I remember feeling worthless when I realized that most of my watchers were only following me for free art and feedback on their art. But can I blame everything on those few things? Of course not. 

I blame a lot of things. Mental illness, puberty, being involved in the wrong communities, and most of all, I blame myself. I won't get into why because that's an even longer answer, but I want to stop feeling guilty and start trying to change myself for the better. I want to stop fantasizing about all the things I want to do and just start doing them.

So, my goal is to try and blog daily, at least once a day. Even with college and work, it shouldn't be too difficult to post something, as long as I have the self-discipline to. Hell, even if I'm going through a depressive phase, I can just write one sentence about my mental state and post that. No matter what, I'm going to hold myself to this.

And now some questions for you, theoretical reader.

What are some goals you've set for yourself? Did you achieve any of them?